DEAR ABBY: I’m a 25-year-old female currently serving a nine-year prison sentence. It is the first time I have ever been in trouble (wrong place, wrong time). My boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together 2 1/2 years and have had our ups and downs (mostly ups). I am truly in love with him, and he tells me he will always be there for me.
I have been in prison for five months so far, and he hasn’t missed a visit or a phone call. He also makes sure I have money on my books.
I’m worried that somewhere down the road, since we’re so young, he will meet someone and move on. In a way, I would kind of understand — I don’t want his life to stop because mine has. But I also don’t want to lose him. How do I keep our relationship strong, or should I let him go? — LOCKED UP IN DELAWARE
DEAR LOCKED UP: Nine years is a long time, and sometimes life happens in the interim. I can’t predict what will happen, and you shouldn’t either. Take things a day at a time. Keep the lines of communication open and honest.
Because things are going well, do not “let him go.” If the romance ends, so be it. But if it does, appreciate that he seems to be a staunch friend and ally.
DEAR ABBY: I love my wife. We have been married for 38 years. However, she does something that drives me crazy.
I have a hard time going to sleep at night, and if I’m disturbed in those first few minutes of sleep, I’m up all night. We both agreed that when we say “goodnight,” it means no more talking or loud noises. But almost every night after saying “goodnight,” she wakes me up with something she HAS to say or explore. If it was an emergency, I wouldn’t mind, but it’s usually something of no consequence that could wait until morning.
I have tried ignoring her, pretending to be asleep, saying “goodnight again” in a rough tone of voice and getting angry. Nothing seems to work. I would appreciate some advice for dealing with this. — SLEEPLESS IN TEXAS
DEAR SLEEPLESS: A solid night’s sleep is crucial for good health. Tell your wife to keep a notepad by the side of the bed and jot down what she wants to discuss the next morning. However, if she persists in awakening you, get up and go into another room. And continue doing it until your wife agrees to show more consideration.
DEAR ABBY: I have known my friend “Midge” for more than 60 years. We live in different states now, but keep in touch online. While our views are polar opposites on just about everything, we have remained friends.
Over the last year, it seems Midge has reverted to being a wild teenager. She is smoking pot, got tattooed and is doing a lot of partying. Recently, she posted a very lengthy missive, including dozens of pictures, about how much she misses her ex-boyfriend. Abby, they broke up 10 years ago! I asked her sister about her bizarre behavior and was told, “Oh, that’s just Midge.” Is it time to let go of the friendship? — NOT THE SAME IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR NOT THE SAME: Assuming that pot is legal in the state where Midge resides, she’s doing nothing illegal, immoral or that will get her pregnant out of wedlock. Because you’re concerned about her, call Midge to hear how she is. Sometimes an abrupt change in personality can be a symptom of a physical or mental health issue.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.